John, Cynthia and Paul.

I'm only posting this, because sevgi86  and beagle_agent said to me I should post this here as well. It's copied from my personal journal, so don't be confused. xD

I simply have to write down my thoughts on John and Paul's relationship, before I forget it.
First of all, I've started reading Cynthia's book, "John". It's quite cute, actually, and I like her writing style. (Although I must say that Julian's introduction did upset me a little bit, because I can understand him so well... Except for that my dad's alive, haha.)
Anyway, chapter three is quite interesting, regarding John's possessive way when he commits himself into a relationship and how he demands full attention from his lover:

Most of the time I went along with what John wanted. We laughed a lot, the attraction between us was powerful and exciting and he constantly came up with new escapades for us. But there was friction too. His insistence that I stayed with him until the last train from Liverpool Central to Hoylake, which got me home at midnight, upset me. I knew my mother would fret about me and I worried about leaving her alone so much of the time when she was still grieving for my father. Besides, I often had college work to catch up on. But John didn't give a damn about any of that, and if I tried to go home before the last train he threw a fit. He wanted me with him for as much of the time as possible, which meant that very early in our relationship I had to choose between him and my other needs and responsibilities.

Now this bit reminded me of an interview of John's, which he gave in 1971:

And I was always saying [to Paul], 'Face up to your dad, tell him to fuck off. He can't hit you. You can kill him [laughs], he's an old man.' I used to say, 'Don't take that shit off him.' Because I was always brought up by a woman, so maybe it was different. But I wouldn't let the old man treat me like that. He treated Paul like a child all the time, cut his hair and telling him what to wear, at seventeen, eighteen.

But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, 'I need a steady career.' We couldn't believe it, so I said to him - my Aunt Mimi reminded me of this the other night - he rang up and said that he'd got this job and couldn't come to the group. So I told him on the phone, 'Either come or you're out.' So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and he chose me.

There are so many similarities between John's relationship to Paul and to Cyn, it's actually quite scary. He demands full attention and somehow corrupted them both with his crazy ways when they were young. John changed the way Cynthia dressed, made her dye her hair blonde - or she rather did it voluntarily, in order to please him, whereas Paul changed the way he dressed as well, by adopting John's Teddy boy look. (Take for instance the drainies - Paul's father didn't like it at all when Paul wore them, but he still did it, just to get John's attention and to be just as cool as him.)
However, his relationships to both of them lasted for almost the same amount of time (late 50's till the late 60's) and he abandoned them both for Yoko. He was crazily jealous when Cynthia spoke to someone else from the male gender and we all know how rude and mean he was to Linda. Another good example for John's jealousy would be the quote from Peggy Lipton:

I came for dinner, and I was the only girl there. John definitely didn't like that. He didn't like me being there at ALL. He was mean and sarcastic. As far as he was concerned, I had no business being invited to dinner with the four of them. For him this was an exclusive boys' club. He was purposely making me feel uneasy. At one point, the boys were handing around a scrapbook -- looking at pictures of that first tour. John made some snide comment like, "What is SHE doing here?" I got the idea that he thought Paul was an idiot to take a girl so seriously he'd actually invite her to dinner, when all he really needed to do was fuck her AFTER dinner.

The only difference is that John always wanted to come back to Paul. Cynthia's, but also Yoko's relationship lasted about ten years. Yoko's marriage with him got worse towards the end of his life, but also during the mid-seventies, so that she actually wanted to get divorced from him. Meanwhile, John was quite unhappy and wanted to go back to England, but above all, back to Paul.

In the end, if you keep all of this in mind, one can see that John must have loved Paul. (Not that it's clear already!) I think he loved him a bit more than Cynthia, or Yoko for that matter. I don't recall a single time after his break-up with Cynthia that he wanted to go back to her. But Paul was constantly on his mind, since he obsessed over his music like a maniac and tried to read everything into his lyrics, looking for any hidden messages.
My advice for them, if I had had the chance to tell them so, would have been: JUST FUCK ALREADY, DAMMIT.

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Yeah, so those were all my weird thoughts written down and I hope you two are happy now that I posted it here as well. :B